"Words to Thrive By" by Mary Anne Dorward

Announcing A New Weekly Feature on WTTB!

The Diamond Mines: Gems From Our Readers

Just the other day a WTTB Reader, A Kindergarten Teacher, contacted me. She told me that reading “Words to Thrive By: Powerful Stories of Courage and Hope” had inspired her to begin posting “The Word of The Week” on her classroom blackboard. In their Circle Time, and various other teaching moments throughout the week, the children discussed what they knew and were learning about “The Word of The Week” that week.

The Kindergarten Teacher told me that her first word choice for “The Word of The Week” was “KINDNESS.” One child commented, “It’s easier to be kind to my DOG than my baby sister.”

I think we can all relate to that?! Lol!

We would to love share your stories! Please message me here or email me at maryanne@wordstothriveby.com and I will post it in the new weekly WTTB feature: The Diamond Mines: Gems from Our Readers. Thanks!

Despite the end of the Mayan Calendar and predictions for impending Armageddon on December 22, 2012, I know that life will go on and we will all live to see another year. So. Here are my thoughts on New Years Resolutions for 2013 for any of us insanely positive people and for any of us who do the New Year’s Resolution thing. So for your consideration, I propose to you:

THE WORDS TO THRIVE BY NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS KIT

The “Words to Thrive By” New Year’s Resolution Kit begins with how to look at both the previous year and the year to come with a new perspective. The ”Words to Thrive By” New Year’s Resolution Kit will hopefully help us each find some New Year’s Resolutions we can even achieve for once in our lives.

Here are 4 questions for you to ponder for your life as you begin this new year 2013:

1. What went RIGHT last year?

Yes you heard me correctly: What went RIGHT last year?

Now make a list of all the things you did that were really pretty darn good last year. This list doesn’t have to be the things that you did that were “perfect” or even “reasonable.” Those two lists would probably be pretty darn short.

I’m talking simple things. Smiling at a stranger. Helping someone out in some small way. Just being nice, maybe when you didn’t even feel like it. Maybe you made a good decision last year that darn it all, you’re proud of it. Maybe it’s something you did well, like get to yoga class on time for a change. Maybe you paid off your bills or got on a payment plan finally, after wondering what that experience would be like all these years.

So what is it for you? Think large and small, even miniscule, not perfect or reasonable or what someone else thinks.

Now write them down at the top of a piece of paper.

2. What do you have to FORGIVE yourself for?

Now make a list of what you feel you need to forgive yourself for. These would be the things you may have said or done, either deliberately or even accidentally that you still feel bad about. Serious “my bad” stuff. Guilt feelings, whether huge or tiny, is what we’re talking about here. Add them to your list.

3. What would you like to LET GO of from last year?

Then we have all the other stuff we did or said last year that we’re still feeling embarrassed about or otherwise kicking ourselves for. This is one of those: ‘OMG! I cannot believe that I did that! I will NEVER live that down! EVER!’ experiences.

The first thing I want to say about these kinds of horrific experiences, those “full stop” moments, moments that perhaps now frequent your nightly dreams, (or should I say nightmares?), is that you are not alone. We all have ‘em. Sometimes throughout the entire year. All the little persnickety things that nag at you all the time, sometimes once in a while, sometimes day and night, can really wear you down.

No more. Today is the day you are gonna let at least one of ‘em go from last year.  Whatever it was, it’s over now. Done. You cannot go back in time, only forward. (OK, quantum physics or “wormhole” experts might argue with me on that one but…) Time to give it up.

Go ahead. Put it, whatever it was, on your list. Say out loud, ”I’m finally ready to let go of my incredible, idiotic, stupid, bizarre whatever….” Trust me. You can do this.

4. What can you imagine yourself looking FORWARD to in the New Year to come?

I would like to believe that together, we could make a very long list of answers to this question. But if you get stuck, here’s want to do:

Close your eyes for a moment and truly ask yourself:

“What can I imagine myself looking FORWARD to in the New Year to come?”

Now, don’t panic. Don’t open your eyes. Don’t give up.  Just let your mind wander until you feel pulled or motivated from a new idea or image or vision for yourself doing or feeling something that may come to mind that you might enjoy.

A new hobby? Maybe you’ve have always wanted to learn how to quilt but have been putting it off and putting it off. Can you imagine yourself sitting in front of a sewing machine, surrounded with bright colored fabrics all around you and hearing the “Hummmmmm…” of the sewing machine in action?

Can you imagine it and see it? It could be a new work design in your mind or the yarn of a knitting project or a kit for a motorized model airplane or fly tying, a website or travel brochure for a trip you’ve always wanted to take? Can you see a blank canvas yearning to be filled with color?

Whatever comes to you, write it down on your list. Don’t be afraid to allow your mind to wander for a few minutes until something comes to you. Do a little DREAMING!

So now you have your own personal WORDS TO THRIVE BY RESOLUTION LIST FOR 2012. 

Surprised? Did I just hear you say, “Huh?”

I know it’s not a long list of all the habits you want to break, or the ways you promise you’ll change or the somethings will never happen again. But no. This is a very different kind of list.

It’s a list filled with your imagination of possibilities you could really really really look forward to: 

Dreams. Hopes. Possibilities. Fun. Adventures. Joys. Play. Love. Delights. Trips. Sleeping ins.  Inspirations. Hikes. Foods. Projects. Creations. Conversations. Coffees. Competitions. Collaborations. Naps.

Yup. I’d say that’s definitely different for a New Year’s Resolutions List. So as we enter The New Year 2013, I wish for each of you:

The awareness of what went right last year.

The letting go of guilt. 

The letting go of shame.

The looking forward to becoming just a bit more of the You who you’ve always Known down deep inside was there- in sometimes whispering and sometimes screaming- to get out.

That would be the You who believes anything is possible, embraces their dreams, follows their heart and doesn’t give up. No way. No how.

Happy New Year. 2013. 

For more of my thoughts, feel free to check out my inspirational book, “Words to Thrive By: Powerful Stories of Courage and Hope.”

"Sunflower" A painting by Mary Anne Dorward

Right this moment, I’m choosing to have my best year EVER in 2013. Despite the close of the Mayan Calendar on December 21, 2012, I’m certain life will go on and we will all live to see another year. In fact, I’m planning on it. But what kind of a year will it be?

It all comes down to our Choices.

Today you can choose to become the You whom you’ve always Known down deep inside was there – sometimes whispering and sometimes screaming – to get out. You can choose to create the different world of your future, beginning with what you imagine in your mind today and then taking action to make your imagined future your reality.

You can choose to believe that anything is possible, choose to embrace your dreams, choose to follow your heart and choose not to give up in the New Year, 2013. 

How?   ”Words to Thrive By: Powerful Stories of Courage and Hope.”

USING “WORDS TO THRIVE BY” FOR THE NEW YEAR 2013

In my inspirational book, “Words to Thrive By,” there are lots of ideas for how you can make different, more positive changes and choices in your life and how to choose the life of your dreams.

Two questions for you to ponder as you choose your new life in the year 2013:

1. What went RIGHT last year?

Yes, you heard me correctly: What went RIGHT last year, not all the “my bad” stuff you are still kicking yourself for. These are all the things you did that were really pretty darn good last year.

It’s the simple things

Smiling at a stranger. Helping someone out in some small way. Just being nice, maybe when you didn’t even feel like it. Maybe you made a good decision last year that darn it all, you’re proud of it.

Maybe it’s something you did like finally getting to that yoga class you promised yourself you would do. Or if you tend to be late, perhaps you made an effort to get places and to appointments on time. Even once is a great start. Maybe you paid off your bills or got on a reasonable payment plan finally, after all these years of worry and stress.

Think large and small, even miniscule

So what is it for you? Think large and small, even miniscule, not perfect.

Feel how good it feels

Feel how good it feels to deeply focus in the present moment on the things that you feel good about.

For each person, what they feel “Good” or “Proud” about is going to be different. What is it for you?

No beating yourself up for or trying to figure out the past

Continuing to beat yourself up in your mind or heart over the past keeps the focus of your mind and energy locked backwards in time. This focus backwards only creates more of the same in your future.

No more. Whatever it was, it’s over now. Done. You cannot go back in time, only forward.

(OK, quantum physicists or “wormhole” experts might argue with me on that one but…)

Bottom line: Your guilt and shame feelings about the past do not serve you now nor were they ever very loving toward yourself. In fact, guilt and shame distract you from your life in this moment right Now.

“The Now” is the only place where we create and set the stage for our future. “The Now” is the only time we ever really have ever had.

The past was a “past Now,” we are in a “present Now” and a “future Now” will be the moment where our imagined future of today manifests itself.

Choose a different future for yourself

In other words, thoughts are what precede and ultimately create your reality of your future. Today is the day you have the potential power to choose a different future for yourself. Ultimately, this new internal focus will create the positive Self fulfilling outcome of your future.

2. What are you choosing to CREATE in the New Year 2013?

Close your eyes for a moment and truly ask yourself:

“What can I imagine myself  CREATING and looking FORWARD to in the New Year to come?”

Now, don’t panic. Don’t open your eyes. Don’t give up.  Just let your mind wander until you feel pulled or motivated from a new idea or image or vision for yourself doing or feeling something that may come to mind that you might enjoy.

Can you imagine this new idea or hobby and seeing yourself actually doing it in your mind? That’s the first step.

Remember, thoughts are actual things that broadcast the energy of potential creation and ultimately do create your future. So what is it you’ve always wanted to try?

Painting or Drawing?

Are you a painter at heart and been too afraid in the past to even try? Can you now see in your imagination a blank canvas screaming to be filled with color or a piece of drawing paper yearning for a portrait? The point is first to see it in your minds eye, your imagination, and then choose to take one action that takes you a step closer to what you have imagined. Maybe you simply start with a doodle on a white page of computer paper.

Or you can get in your car right now and drive to an art store and buy a new blank canvas. Or, if you’re snowed in, get on your computer and go to Amazon.com and have that drawing paper and some new pencils delivered right to your door. Next, you might imagine yourself hanging your painting or your new drawing on to your wall!

There really is nothing standing in the way of your dreams becoming a reality, whatever they are, right now, today. Begin with the end result in mind and then take tiny step by tiny step, until your Dream become the Reality that you have imagined.

So what is it you Dream of?

Fly a Motorized Model Airplane?

Have you always wanted to fly a motorized model airplane? Start today by going out on the internet and looking at kits you could build or on Ebay to see who is selling one at a great price.

As you are driving or taking a shower, imagine yourself holding that remote control in your hands and watching your plane soar through the air!

Quilting?

Maybe you’ve have always wanted to learn how to quilt but have been putting it off and putting it off. Can you imagine yourself now sitting in front of your sewing machine, surrounded with bright colored fabrics all around you and hearing the “Hummmmmm…” of the sewing machine in action? Can you imagine yourself sitting cozy under your new quilt? Perhaps today is the day to sign up for that quilting class in 2013.

Fly tying?

Are you a fisherman or fisherwoman who has always wanted to learn to tie your own flies? Check out your nearest fly fishing store for the supplies you will need and ask some questions of the fly fishing guides whhile you’re there. Or go online to watch a beginning video on fly tying. Call a fly fishing store and set up a trip in the spring – see yourself in your imagination fishing and your delight as try out all the beautiful new “wooley buggar” flies that you tied yourself!

Cooking?

What new recipe would you like to learn to cook? Go look in your recipe books for a new recipe you haven’t tried yet or go online to Smitten Kitchen.com or All Recipes.com and type in what you want to make into their Search box.

Print it or keep the link on your phone and go to the gorcery store today to get all the ingredients. Imagine yourself sitting at your dining table and exclaiming “Yuuuuummmmmm!” as you eat it! It starts with a new recipe and the desire within you to create it.

Knitting?

What is the project shape and the color and texture of the perfect yarn of a new knitting project? See yourself looking at the pattern for your new project and how yummy the yarn and needles feel in your hands!

Then imagine yourself wearing or using your new knitted creation!

Travel?

Where have you always wanted to travel in the world? Go online and find a video of that place and fill your mind with images of that exotic or beautiful spot.

Or print pictures off of Google images and paste them on a board near your desk to look at every day as you imagine yourself walking that beach or climbing that mountain or trekking that back road.

Then start making your reservations!

Your list is an endless array of Choices!

You will know if you are on the right track if you feel your energy lifts within you and you become even just a little excited contemplating yourself doing the activity or travelling to that place.

Don’t be afraid to allow your mind to wander until something comes to you. Do some Dreaming and then CHOOSE to CREATE that Dream in your life today!!

This is a very different kind of list

I know this is not a long list of all the habits you want to break, or the ways you promise you’ll change or all the things you swear will never happen again in your life. This is a very different kind of list.

It’s a list filled with your imagination of possibilities you can choose and really really, really look forward to in your life to come.

USING “WORDS TO THRIVE BY” IN 2013 

Dreams. Hopes. Possibilities. Fun. Adventures. Joys. Play. Love. Delights. Trips. Sleeping in.  Inspirations. Hikes. Foods. Projects. Creations. Conversations. Coffees. Collaborations. Naps.

Yup. I’d say that’s definitely different from the normal New Year’s Resolutions List.

Today you can choose to become the You whom you’ve always Known deep inside was there. From there, you will create the different world of your future, first  imagining it all in your mind and then choosing to take action in your life today.

So choose to believe that anything is possible, choose to embrace your dreams, choose to follow your heart and choose not to give up – No matter what!

Happy New Year. 2013. 

For more of my thoughts, feel free to check out my inspirational book, ”Words to Thrive By: Powerful Stories of Courage and Hope.”

When my sweet young son McKenzie died, I took a trip and on that trip I read the following quote in St Paul’s Cathedral. That moment was the first time a tiny ray of light pierced my heart that was lost in deep darkness. May these words give Peace to all who are grieving today over the deaths of their loved ones:

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

– Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral